There has been a lot going on lately. My grandpa, who’s 98 & I’ve seen at least once a week my entire life, had a stroke almost 2 weeks ago. It happened after him & I got back to his place from running errands. I, thankfully, was there with him & called 911 in time, but I’m still so scared for him. He’s home now–after stubbornly refusing to go to rehab–but, he lives alone. He has a nurse come a few times a week now & home health the other days–but that’s not enough to make me feel better. He turns 99 this month & he’s got more of a life that we do most days! Him & his friend go out to the casinos multiple times a week, go to lunch all the time–and while these things are great, we keep trying to tell him to take it easy & make sure to bring his walker everywhere. The stroke caused possibly permanent weakness in his legs & arms, so he now has to use a walker. He just doesn’t care what we say & tends to do the opposite of what we tell him. I love my grandpa so much, I just worry–I keep telling him he has to at least make it to 100. His sister lived til 105, so he naturally has to beat her!

Subject change now. My son hasn’t started ABA therapy yet, but it’s supposed to start in just a few weeks–most likely around the time he will start kindergarten. I’m just so scared, worried, stressed, frustrated…about him, with him, for him… His outbursts just keep getting worse. And as he’s getting bigger, his physical violence is getting worse. Especially when it comes to his 2 year old sister. It makes me both want to cry and hold him tight at the same time. I know he doesn’t understand what’s going on to a point–I see the frustration he feels when the tantrums start. I just wish there was a way to make all of it go away. And it’s a struggle trying to explain the situation to our daughter. I don’t want her to be afraid of her brother, but I also don’t want her to antagonize. She’s 2, there’s lot of antagonizing right now. It’s been hard finding the balance, the best way to approach all of it. I don’t want him to think he’s always in trouble, but he also needs to know what he’s doing is not ok. He just makes me feel like a monster though when he gets put in a time out. Ugh.

On top of all that, I’ve recently finished house projects & started a few new ones; as well as getting everything together to get my shop up & running again on Etsy. When I’m stressed, I like to do things–the busier I am, the less my mind gets to go crazy. We completely cleaned, de-cluttered & installed shelves in our bedroom closet. I’ve cleaned the kids closet downstairs. Plus, I started installing bead board paneling in our laundry/mudroom. Separate posts will follow with details on all those. I just like to stay busy & need to when everything else around me is insane. Thanks for listening. 🙂

-Lissa